Just because I help others with stress doesn’t mean that I live in a cocoon of calm. Oh puh-lease. I’m just a normal person trying to get through the day like everyone else. But as a stress, and health and wellness coach, people often put me on a pedestal. They think I am this beacon of health perfection.
However, a few weeks ago, as I was listening to the Global Stress Summit, one of the wise speakers laughed when the same was asked of him- something to the effect of, “How do you keep stress from your day-to-day?” He chuckled and said (I paraphrase), “Why do you think that I have been studying stress for 40 years?” The wise speaker was Robert Sopolsky.
I have to admit, I expected a list of meditation and breath exercises, taking time for self, some bizarre adrenalyn-seeking behavior. But no, he just admitted that he struggles like everyone else. Why do I laugh when people ask me what I do, and yet, I expected something different from him?
Well, I don’t have it all worked out either. I continue to be honest when I am less than calm and call it out. People know that I am direct, and this is no different. You can’t bullshit stress away. However, I do work every day, ok– most days, at using the tools that I know to work for me. Some days, I am super successful, and others…not so much.
It reminds us that no matter who we are, or how calm and healthy we are supposed to be, that we have to recognize what we can control and what we can’t. We can control our feelings by putting things in a more positive light, or not fearing for the worst. We can control what we think, and how we act. And we can work on how to cope when things beyond our control happen.
I hope that you don’t think that just because I am a coach that it is easy for me. This past week, it was especially hard to be honest. We all have rough days, weeks, and phases.
That’s the work we need to do: to determine how we best cope when the going gets tough. And of course, if you need help, contact a coach. But don’t pretend we’re not human too. Don’t you want someone who can relate to your plight? Believe me, I can.
Here’s to a better week. Oh yeah, traveling for a long weekend to see my family. I am looking forward to it, but it’s stressful too. There’s always something.