Good Grief, Charlie Brown
Grief is raw. Grief is honest. Grief is impossible to elude.
In my last post, I shared that I get stressed too, and that times were a little rough. Honestly, they are worse than that. On top of launching some events and transitioning into my new summer schedule, the real concern has been my dog. And we have been through a LOT together. She has been a tremendous learning opportunity and has helped me to open my heart to get to where I am now. Surprising what one little furry dogface can do.
It is so hard when a parent, sibling, pet is not in a good place.
For me and my doggie’s puppy daddy (she was with me part of the time the day we met him!), we have been on an emotional roller coaster for the past few weeks. So what has it looked like at our house? What do you do when the shi…er, stress hits the fan?
Crying: There have been so many tears. Crying is cathartic. Let them flow. And letting them flow with loved ones is such a connector.
Crafts/Knitting: It is amazing how much fabric I have knitted up. Crafts are a great way to occupy your mind. Channel your energy into creating something.
Cleaning: I have scrubbed the crap out of our kitchen, in all of the nooks and crannies, behind the appliances..
Napping: There have been many naps, some of us, all of us: in bed, on the couch, on the floor. Of course, there has been sleeplessness as well.
Watching movies: Normally not a huge draw in our house, but yes, TV at times can be useful.
Cooking: Mains, sides, veggies, veggie juices (check out The Big Book of Juices), cookies (always gf, df and egg-free)– you name it. Good nutrition is important during duress…though honestly, it was more about the process than the end game.
Organizing (Excavating): I’m not going to lie; my office was looking like a tornado had hit it. Granted, all piles were organized, but…I have found the surface of my desk, coffee table, and one of my upholstered chairs that is so lovely, yet was unrecognizable. I even migrated all (yes, ALL!) of my files to Google Drive.
Exercising: Yoga has been one of my top go-to tools for the past 15 years. It never fails, and even if it gives me a chance to stop and cry, that too is ok. But moving energy through/moving my body is always helpful.
Walking/Hiking outside has also been a savior- even when it is through tears. Just to hold hands with a partner and know that we are both sad…connecting to self, partner, nature.
Support System: Family and friends love and support has helped a lot. While they really can’t directly help the situation– knowing they are thinking of all of us is good.
Pet-time: Rubs, cries, walks, it all adds up to reflecting on how much love there is for this furry baby.
Reframing: I wrote a blog post about cognitive restructuring. I think we have had a lot of waffling between wondering about decisions that will have to be made and reflecting about all of the good memories we have had, how full of a life we have had with our furry baby. We are trying to focus on the good,…and we will make sure that she will not suffer. If she can’t eat, get outside to her favorite places, get in the water, we won’t prolong her agony.
Games: We play a lot of games. It keeps us connecting, and we laugh. Two competitive spirits sassing each other.
Try something new: I bought a sprouter and the seeds have already started. So fun to watch them grow day-by-day. That may be my next post?
And sometimes, when there are no more words, and you’ve cried for hours (apparently, there are still tears left), and you’ve slept too much or not enough, you don’t pretend all is fine, but you pour your grief out in words and put it out there for all to see. How’s that for vulnerability Brene?
Sending healing thoughts to all of those who need it.
Thank you to all of those who have been in the loop who have been sending us loving thoughts.
We’re waiting (waiting is the hardest part!) to learn more about the situation, and figure out next steps.